Cake Wars. peeps-faceoff

Iron Chef. 

Last Resaurant Standing.

Let’s face it: we are obsessed with food battles.  This time of year there is no better food battle than Peep Wars. And ulike the showdowns listed above, Peep Wars can actually happen in your very own kitchen. Or – if you’re very lucky – the kitchenette in your company’s office. 

The thrill of Peep Wars was spilled to me by Jocko, a former co-worker, lifetime long distance runner, and microwave experiment enthusiast. Peep wars is marshmallow jousting for your microwave. Anyone who has attempted a s’mores without the benefit of open flame has probably learned that marshmallows expand in the microwave. Add well-placed toothpicks to the equation and suddenly you have a nail biting duel on your hands.

Like all great ideas, Peep Wars’ brilliance lies in its simplicity.

round-oneStep 1: Select Peeps. For these purposes, chicks are better than bunnies. It will also be easiest if you select two different colors. I picked up pink and green, because I’m gangsta like that.

Step 2: Put two Peeps on a plate, facing each other, no more than 1 inch apart. Insert toothpicks into Peep bellies.

Step 2a: Try not to giggle that the Peeps now look like a prelude to movie night at UMD.

Step 3: Insert into the microwave for 1 minute and cheer your color on!

As the Peeps expand, they ooze and waver and shift until eventually the spear of one Peep impales the other, causing Check out Mike cheering for his Peep. abject deflation. The toothpick placement is really clutch here. Insert it too high and it’ll miss the mark. Too off center and it could veer in the completely wrong direction, ensuring your Peep defeat.

The terms of your Peep War may vary. Maybe its for bragging rights, or cash. Or you could go Pacific Island-style and devour the remains of your Peep opponent. Warm, sugary marshmallow may be one of the most delicious victory dinners ever known.

But before you dive in, heed these wise words from Jocko, the Peep Wars general: “Never, and I mean NEVER, use the sugar-free Peeps. Your microwave will never smell the same.”